She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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