3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Randomize
