Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
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