Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
her facebook's as public as her vagina
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
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