Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Randomize
