Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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