im drinking this country out of the recession.
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
