The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
PANTIES FOUND
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize