No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
