too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
