I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
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