Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
