I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
