I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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