i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Randomize