too bad you live with your parents still
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
