what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
Randomize
