I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
Randomize
