Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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