Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
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