the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
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