Jerry, you need to find god
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
