is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Randomize
