You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
Randomize
