How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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