I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
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