Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
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