Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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