that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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