Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
