Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
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