We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Randomize
