so explain again why im purple
no
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
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