Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
don't judge my taste in strippers
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
