I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
love makes seman taste better
it's like iHOP with fire
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
