Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
my being single is dangerous.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
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