God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
