I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Randomize
