she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Randomize