It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize