i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
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