highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
