My nipple is on Facebook.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
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