I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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