So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
