I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
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