dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
