just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Randomize
