so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Randomize
