absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
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