wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Randomize
