Welp...herpes.
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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