Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Randomize
