now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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