Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
All the doctor said was why
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
