I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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