having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
