You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
