She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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