Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Randomize
