Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
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