I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
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