based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
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