Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
