took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
