you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
Randomize
