i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
In America we eat man semen.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
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